Things I Noticed About Flying While Not-So-Fat

There are roughly a billion and a half reasons that life is better when you’re not so overweight, but sitting on an airplane has to crack the “Top Ten”.

Here’s what I noticed while jetting across the country last week…

• Not having to grab a meal at the airport saves approximately $200
• Though still unlikely, admittance to Mile High Club is now at least a theoretical possibility
• No longer have to listen to pilot on loudspeaker say that flights delayed because technicians are double checking plane’s structural integrity
• Stewardess no longer points out special exit exclusively for me during pre-flight instructions
• No more seat belt extenders for the seat belt extenders
• No longer have people weep openly when I tell them my seat is next to them
• Have stopped daydreaming about cotton candy when I gaze out the window
• No longer member of KFC “Frequent Frier” Club
• Stewardess now asks if I want the whole can of soda instead of the entire beverage card
• Never noticed there was an armrest between the seats before