Hi, I’m Sandra. I want to talk to you about how hard it’s been to stay at my current weight. I’ve lost weight countless times, but never been able to keep off the weight I’ve lost. I don’t know why. I can sustain my new weight for a time, and I’m good at dealing with a variety of eating situations, but that’s it. Then I go backwards, fast usually.

Hi Sandra, I’m Dominique. I know what you’re talking about. This used to happen to me, too. Uh, Oh. There I go again. I used the passive, it used to happen to me, when what I really mean, is that I used to do it. You see, it’s still hard for me to own it. This is what really helped me to disconnect from old ways. I changed my thinking. It wasn’t easy, though. I had to do lots of soul searching. And you know what I realized? There was this big passive part to me that I wasn’t even aware of. I just used it and used it every chance I got. I was never to blame; it was never my fault; I didn’t do it; it happened to me. I even said this about my anxiety attacks; they just happened to me too. Now I’m different—well almost different. It’s me  who is in charge of me. Things don’t just happen to me. I’m my own change agent. What’s there is me, and if I want to be a new me, I have to be the one who makes the changes.